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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724300">Overwhelmed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowspore/pseuds/willowspore'>willowspore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Will is projecting on to dream [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Mentioned GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), The Author Regrets Everything, aka author is terrible at feelings, author needs to stop venting onto dream, small bit of warnings in notes, vent fic, you probably dont wanna read this its just me being sad about life for 1000 words</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:21:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowspore/pseuds/willowspore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dream is overwhelmed</p><p>Or</p><p>Author pushes their woes onto Dream</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Will is projecting on to dream [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Overwhelmed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>if you clicked on this then hello welcome to my woes </p><p>hope u enjoy if you read this all!!</p><p>warning up ahead, i mention death, alcohol, and drugs (its only mentioned for like a few sentences but still b safe)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dream is overwhelmed.</p><p>He doesn't remember a time when he wasn't. Even while he is relaxing and spending time for himself he's always overwhelmed about everything and it never stops. He doesn't even know where it comes from or when it even started.</p><p>Personally Dream thinks he would rather be overcome by this feeling at any other time. School is ending soon and he was getting good grades and getting all his lessons done but once the overwhelming feeling appeared he's been struggling to leave bed.</p><p>Not only does he leave bed at around 5pm most days he barely does his lessons and most of his grades went from A's to low B's, not saying B's were bad but Dream knew he could do better.</p><p>Now Dream was terribly overwhelmed and also deeply upset and felt like he was spiraling back into his fucked up deep depression.</p><p>Dream couldn't ever focus on his lessons, only did one a day, got behind on his classes to the point his grades went down and now he feels like he's disappointing everyone.</p><p>He tries he really does to fix it, to ignore the overwhelming feeling but it's so hard to when it's the only feeling Dream can recognize.</p><p> </p><p>----------</p><p> </p><p>Dream tried to take breaks, to relax and try and edge away the uneasiness that plagued his entire body at any given time but it only worsened it.</p><p>Laying in his bed blasting music trying to distract himself made all the overwhelming and uneasy feelings latch deeper into his skin.</p><p>His mind wouldn't shut up, chanting how he's being lazy, a terrible son, a disappointment. He wanted it to shut up so he turned the music up louder and rolled over.</p><p>Of course that didn't stop it, Dream at this point believed nothing could.</p><p>All the things Dream ever did wrong ripped at his mind. Dream wanted to cry, all he wants to do is rest why was it so hard?</p><p>Even sleeping Dream wasn't safe. Nightmares were the only thing he was greeted with. Terribly ironic since his name is Dream and he never once had a happy dream. </p><p>Dream awoke so many mornings with dark nightmares that disturbed him to the bone, setting down in his mind.</p><p>He told his friends if the nightmares and they often made jokes of them. He laughed but then started keeping the nightmares to himself. It was better that they didn't know anyway.</p><p> </p><p>-------</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, guilty-ly Dream thinks his friends are apart of his uneasiness.</p><p>At night he lays in bed and thinks about leaving them. Terrible he knows but part of him thinks it would help him. Sometimes he was so deeply uncomfortable because of his friends but he never mentioned it. How could he?</p><p>Dream couldn't drop them anyway. Not with one of them continuing to tell him how much he's helped them and that if he didn't appear when he did that they probably would be dead.</p><p>He's forced to stay.</p><p>He didn't want anyone dying because of him. Even if this all reminded him of the time he was threatened by the person he loved at the time that they would kill themselves If he left them.</p><p>His friends make him feel like he's weird that he just. God, how does Dream explain it?</p><p>..Dream, when he opens up to them sometimes they judge him. It hurts, fucking stings, but he was so used to it.</p><p>No one ever listened to when Dream vented, ranted. To everyone Dream was just the person you go to to vent to or the person you go to to get a favor from them.</p><p>Dream leaves the shattered pieces of himself alone and goes around helping glue other people's back together. No one spared a glance towards Dreams broken pile, steadily growing bigger. </p><p>Dream didn't even spare a glance at it. He firmly believes he deserves to feel all the bad things he feels. </p><p> </p><p>----</p><p> </p><p>It doesn't end there. Why would it?</p><p>To add to the pile, Dream is so fucking confused about his relationship with his boyfriend.</p><p>Dream sometimes feels like he doesn't love George anymore but then he appears and speaks to him slightly and there Dream goes, falling all over again.</p><p>Dream wouldn't mind it if only George spoke to him more. Told him he loved him more. They couldn't even hold a conversation anymore and it hurt so fucking much.</p><p>It hurt so much more when he hears his discord ping and it's a message from him and he's struck with the stupid fucking giddy feeling again.</p><p>Dream messaged George recently, three times. All three times ignored. Maybe he deserved it.</p><p>It just hurts, Dream has loved him for a year and some and he was so hopeful they would last without any problems because George made him so fucking happy, so happy it hurt.</p><p>Dream often was the one to say he loves the other. George barely ever said it first. He was okay with it but sometimes he wants to be greedy. He wants to hear it first. </p><p>Maybe Dream just wants too much.</p><p>Maybe Dream is selfish.</p><p>Dream thinks he would normally be okay with that but now it just hurts.</p><p>George means the world to him, he really does. Dream just can't tell if he still loves him or not and it's so much to deal with. He just wants to be happy. He wants to see George in real life and hold him. He wants to love George will all his heart but he's scared of being hurt.</p><p>But he wants George to hold him back, to kiss him and tell him everything is okay and that he loves him. But nothing can ever be that easy.</p><p> </p><p>-------</p><p> </p><p>Dream also gets overwhelmed over his past.</p><p>Which sucks, everyone always says the past doesn't matter what happened then happened, move on.</p><p>But it's hard when everything that happened Dream blames himself for.</p><p>This includes his dad dying. Which is what Dream is currently being overwhelmed over, once again.</p><p>Dream doesn't even understand why he blames himself because it doesn't make sense. He knows that but he still believes that it's his fault.</p><p>His father died by a heart attack in his sleep, caused by all the alcohol and drugs he did.</p><p>Dream believes that maybe if he was a better son his dad wouldn't have done everything that he did.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes it hits Dream again that his dad is really gone. </p><p>Not like Dream actively denied that his dad was dead but sometimes it just slips his mind.</p><p>This time it hit Dream because he was thinking how his dad hasn't sent any gifts like he normally would.</p><p>Right after he thought that the sickening realization slapped him in the face and he grabbed his phone, pressed on a random Spotify playlist and maxed out the volume on his phone to mask the sobs that wracked his body.</p><p> </p><p>--------</p><p> </p><p>Dream can't remember any other feeling other than being overwhelmed. </p><p>He hates it but he's glad he's the one struggling with all his feelings and not anyone else.</p><p>He's overwhelmed and tired and sick of being alive but he can deal with it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wrote the first half of this after a breakdown i had about my dad and then woke up and wrote the rest so thats fun</p><p>also ironically i had a nightmare right after writing about it so thanks mind you little shit</p></blockquote></div></div>
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